My first and best fishing buddy

I lost my Dad yesterday.  He was 91 years old and he had a good life . There was no defining illness at the end. Old age gradually just wore him down . However those simple words do nothing to describe him.  He was an honourable gentle man a good Dad and Grandad that I only felt I really got to know in the last few years of his life .   Truth is he and Mum were totally wrapped up in each other most of their lives. Sadly we lost Mum a few years ago. But since she passed away I have spent a lot more time with Dad and seen a different side of him .  Mum was lovely but  a bit of a prude, I knew Dad had a well hidden wicked rude sense of humour but have seen a lot more of it lately.  I guess what with me sent to boarding school age 11 then after school starting work I missed those teenage years with him . Marrying and kids then meant our lives naturally drifted apart. I think truth is like most people we both have faults but as you get older those faults don`t seem to matter anymore . These last few years has allowed me to connect with him again .  Seeing him every few days has made us closer.

He passed away with incredible dignity three weeks from the first call to get to his bedside.  On that first call our arrival at his bedside prompted a smile from him and a brief conversation and some surprise from his carers at his sudden recovery. There have been several calls to his bedside since and one evening I held his hand with the transparent skin every tendon and bone visible ,  but under my fingers the rock steady pulse told its own story.  One Day I was told there wasnt even time to go home first .  Dad left us just over a day later .He certainly wasn`t going to rush of.

 In life he taught me many lessons , I confess I didnt always listen but at the end of his life  he taught me a final one, that is not to be afraid of death he passed away without a complaint. I spent many hours with him through those last 21 days his only worry was for his family and wanting constant assurance that everyone was ok.  He knew he was dying we talked about it and when my time comes I hope I deal with it as well.  I missed the chance to see my Mum at the end I was half way up the motorway when my wife rang me and told me not to rush .  Sadly at the time when the call came I was hundreds of miles away .  Spending time at the end with Dad has given me a real sense of closure that was missing with Mum

He was my early fishing friend and mentor . Dads take their kids fishing that is how it should be. The sight of him bringing a fish home is my earliest memory and the spark that lit my lifetime passion .  He started me fishing and we went together often but like all kids  not as often as i would have liked.  Dad was a coarse angler and his favourite fish were the Roach and the Grayling.  We fished together often many years ago and it was on a stretch of a local river I watched him catch beautiful fish and teach me the same. He was a fine angler trotting a float with skill and delicacy .   He was also passionate about the well being of the fish and how they should be treated with respect ,  it is a lesson I hope I still remember every time I fish . 

Another lesson i could do with learning from him is that tackle doesn`t make an angler , patience , application and thinking tend to be much more productive .  A lesson that applies to many things .He told me he got his Millwards Featherlight match rod and Rapidex reel in his early twenties that would make them 70 years old , it was the only rod I saw him fish with. When I look at all the rods , reels and other stuff I have I am a little embarressed  the rod and reel are now amongst my most treasured possessions ,  next winter on his birthday I will take that rod and reel and go and catch a Grayling on it , I cant think of a better way to remember him .  Thanks Dad..

Savour every day like its your last

There is no doubt that if ever I was given the chance of starting again in life then becoming a fly fisherman is one thing that would not be changed .  I am hard pushed to think of anything other than my family which has given me such pleasure during my life .  It isn't always easy and doesn't always bring you the success that you want but it is always gratifying .  I wrote a piece recently in Fly fishing and Fly tying magazine taking a humorous look at growing old and fly fishing ,  one of the serious points in the writing was how the pleasure gained from fishing has become more holistic as I get older .  The pleasure coming more and more from the whole experience ,  the catch whilst important is not the be all and end all .  

The places that I am privileged to fish are in themselves places of true beauty .  Peace, tranquillity and nature combine to provide me with a place where the everyday stresses are banished .  I know I am fortunate that the corner of the country where I live is a little less congested and a lot less unspoilt than so many parts of the UK .  But for many of us when we are fishing the "place " where we are has little to do with the physical surroundings .  

I visited my Dad the other evening as I do a few times a week.  He is nearly 90 and due to ill health is in a nursing home .  My interest in angling was stirred by him and also encouraged .  Sadly he is increasingly frail and struggling with Alzheimer's. Recently we chatted about fishing and it saddens him that he can not recall so many of the incidents I remind him of from when we fished together .  He said to me "Savour every day like its your last" You will never know when your last days fishing could be and you damn well will want to remember it.  A sobering thought but I guess none of us knows what lurks around the corner. 

Dad was a coarse fisherman , his favoured quarry was the roach and I think he always thought I had betrayed my roots by becoming a "posh" fly fisherman .   I have to say that there is nothing coarse about fishing for Roach its a fish that demands a high level of skill and delicate tackle.  He always loved fishing in rivers , he went to a commercial still water once many years ago that day he caught the biggest roach he had every caught and also the biggest perch but he never wanted to go to one again . There was no wildlife and it was like fishing in a bloody goldfish bowl was his considered opinion.  I showed him the picture above , ( ipads are great for that ) and I was pleased to say that he did say it was a river he could enjoy .   He also asked if the bluebells were out last week and was there plenty of wildlife around the stream.  I guess old Dad understands about the holistic thing as well.