Saturday 31 December 2016

Saving blushes and a Tups indespensibles

I had a day on the river on Tuesday my last for 2016 , Two words could describe the few hours fishing, cold and hard.   Strangely I was unable to find many Grayling only two small fish came to hand.  There was a couple of out of season brown trout and three large Rainbow trout left over from the summer stocking.   I am afraid they didnt make it back into the river.  In my opinion rainbows have no business in our Northern streams, In an effort to keep the blog losely about fishing I would say that once again It was the french leader method that accounted for the fish.  A superb method for close range fishing with extreme delicacy during the low and clear conditions we are faced with.
The day had so far given me very little to really smile about and I returned to my car through a field where there is a small group of rams,   As I walked along the bank a couple of walkers approached from the opposite direction,  Two ladies in their fifties. This is the conversation that followed:

Ladies ,  Good afternoon can I ask are you a local, was enquired of me in a refined voice,
Me ,  Good afternoon , Aye I am local, I live just over the hill.
Ladies , Oh thats good can you tell me what type of sheep those are ? are they swaledale
Me Well I am afraid I dont know what breed they are but I think swaledales have black faces
Ladies Oh it was the lovely horns they have that interested us.  they look so pretty
Me ah well ladies you see they are all Tups
Ladies Tups ? I have never heard of  Tups Sheep.
Me No you misunderstand they are Tups , er  Rams
Ladies No they cant be all rams they would fight.
Me , Well they dont fight because there are no ewes to fight  over ,
Ladies No no i am sure they cant be they have udders for their lambs .
Me er Actually they arent udders you know .
Ladies of course they are what else can they be pointing at the large coconut sized scrotums
Me in an effort to avoid blushes they are their indespensibles
Ladies . Their what ??
Me Ladies they are their testicles  ,,,,

As I watched their eyes look towards the rams with renewed insight Inwardly smiling as I viewed the coconut sized indespensibles and looked to see the two ladies scuttling of down the bank.  One of the rams caame up to me I think he enjoyed the conversation as much as I did.  For the record this was the best Grayling of the day . The Tup gave me far more amusement.
Anyway the year is virtually over but the blog will be back next year.  I will be fishing the Yorkshire Ure again , I will also be in Cuba in the spring.  Hoping that a couple of weeks in the sun chasing bonefish will help me over my 60th birthday .  Happy new year to you all..

Reasons to be cheerful part 3

One of my favourite Artists from the 70s was Ian Drury and the blockheads .And after a long driving session a few days ago when I explored m...